Joshua M. Cyr Malta

(1980 - 2002)

    When Brendan died we all thought you would be the first to go... We told you to slow down, get help, or you were going to be next. Your friends love you so much and are overwhelmed with sadness over your death as well as Brendan's, I love you Josh. We had so many great times. So many fun memories and I try so hard to find peace in the times we did get to have. I miss you Josh- I miss you so much, and it hurts me bad to know that I will never see you again... I can never call you again, or have one of those awesome hugs you gave every time you saw me.  I didn't know you were doing this shit. I want to think that you weren't and I would have noticed it, but you hid it from me... you hid it cause you knew I would care and,,, you couldn't let people care about you. Why Josh why now- why ever. Oh God. I am so lost. This emptiness is so deep and I miss you so much. I hate to think we'll never hang out again. I'll never see you smile again or laugh. I have to think you are in a better place now though... I have to think that all that pain is gone- whatever pain you struggled with, Josh, I will never understand. You know how I feel about this.

 I gotta tell the Tabz- I'm disappointed in you- disappointed that you  hid this addiction from everyone who really truly loved you. Me, Kent,  Jeff and all the other people that loved you and only wanted to help you.  Your family. The people who never wanted to have to remember you the way we all saw you last. Parents aren't suppose to see their kids like that, and I cry for your mom. She loved you so much Josh and was always there for you. Ever time you called her or needed her she was there. But the choice was yours Josh. The choice was yours and unfortunately it was the last choice you made,  You cheated death every time you got fuct up Tabz your were not as untouchable and invincible as you thought.

I hate that you let yourself go out this way I thought you knew better. I thought you were stronger then that. You always told me you didn't do Heroin and never would. I know you didn't want to be addicted to dope, and I know I never wanted to see this happen to you, or any one I love. You were so young and had your whole life ahead of you. You could have been anything you wanted. But now, we'll never know. You must have been needed for something else real bad. because it's hard to make sense of all this. 

  I love you. I will never forget you

Goodbye my friend. Fly now. 

Amy